my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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