Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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