Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
