can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
He kissed a someone with a penis
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
not ubering you a puppy
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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