We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
My ass is underappreciated
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
