But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
