Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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