At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
