Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
