we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
