At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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