My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize