What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Randomize
