i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
