I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
