The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
