my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
