Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
