its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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