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god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
