was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize