You really coming over, don't trick.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
