Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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