No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
