he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I came so hard my ears popped.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Panties = found
Randomize
