I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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