We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
my liver is dry heaving
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
