Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Randomize
