That's when you crack a 10am beer
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
So vagazzling was a success
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
