was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
