Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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