I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize