Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
