I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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