"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
