He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
