He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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