I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
