I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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