i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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