i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
this will be a night to untag.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize