dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
