if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
