I cannot find my penis.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
