THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
