what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize