a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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