DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
You can't motorboat a personality
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
