508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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