Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
