your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
