I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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