are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
