well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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