just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
