Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
