So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize