I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
