Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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