end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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