oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
