That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
