oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i barfeds in our rink
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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