If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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